hiburan jiwa kacaw

Assalamualaikum bl0g sayer..erm, arini aku off..inagtkan dapat spend time baek punyer dengan hubby tercinter..naseb tak baek arini, kusangkekan panaz hinnga ke petang rupenyer ujan di tengah ari..ni sumer sebab die confess kat aku yg die terbace bl0g aku pasal lagu c kambeng rihanna tu..lagi, satu, yg tak bleh blah sangat tu, adek aku sendiri yg selama ni aku cayer sangat da jadik penggodam data peribadi aku unt0k 'dier'..sedey taw;( isk!isk! papep0n id0p mesty diter0skan.memalam camni aku cube carik hiburan len yg dpt membet0wlkan jiwa kacaw ni..aku terbace himpunan lawak sengal ni..haha..saje nak share.....

lawak 1~

Aku baru kawin & duduk dgn bini aku bdua. Aku ni ada tabiat suke mkn telo rebus. x tau la nape, sedap agaknye. Sejak aku kawin tabiat tu kurang sket sbb bini aku msak sedap2 tp dh lame gak la aku x pekena telo rbus ni.

So, citernya bulan lps balik dr keje, kete aku rosak, aku cal bini aku n ckp aku balik lmbt sbb kena menapak. Sbb lapar... sgt o...tw tu, aku singgah kedai mkn.. ada telo rebus! apelagi............, aku mkn nasi dgn telo rebus lah n order lg wat ratah. Sbelum balik aku bgkus lak, wat mkn smbil bjalan balik. kenyang yg amat, mklumla bls dendam sbb lama xmkn.

Buke je pintu rmh, bini aku ckp "abg, ada 'surprise'.." smbil sengih2 dia tutup mata aku n ikat ngn kain hitam n pimpin aku ke meja makan. Aku pn duduk, dia siap pesan jgn try2 nk buka ikatan. Aku nk gi toilet sbb perut start buat hal, tp mls nk spoilkan 'surprise' bini. Aku pn tahan je le dulu..

Tetiba fon bini aku berbunyi, dia angkat n gi jauh dr meja. Aku agakla, smp ke dapor dia pegi. Peluang ni, aku pn kentut sbb dh dr td aku tahan.. bau bleh tahan sbb mkn byk telo..ok, lg skali.. aku pn angkt sbelah punggung dan lps lg satu das! PRUTT! bau mmg xhingat, aku pn x tahan.. lama plak bini aku ni, aku x sbr nk tau surprise dia. Aku rase nk kentut lg.. aku bangun, tonggeng dan PROTT!!.. fuhh lega. bau mcm bangkai.. dekat 2,3minit bru bau hilang..

Pstu bini aku dtg & mtk mf sbb lmbt, dia pn jerit 'SURPRISE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABG!!' Lupe lak arini bday aku, dia suh aku buka kain pnutup mata, aku buka.. mulut aku terus melopong..

ALAMAK!!! aku tgk merah padam muke bpk n mak mertua aku, adik2 ipar aku, duduk keliling meja mkn. Bos n jiran sblah rmh aku pn ade?! Aku nk cover malu, aku la tanya bpk mertua aku, 'dah lama ke pak smpai?' Slamber je bpk mertua aku jwb '"dah lama, sbelum kentut pertama lagi!!"

lawak 2~ ni pasal pendidikan sex untuk kanak-kanak

jayman: bertanya kepada bapanya...
jayman: pak, betul ke make love tu best?
bapak: haah, samalah best macam kamu korek hidung kamu!
jayman: tapi betul ke org pompuan lagi rasa best?
bapak: kalo kamu korek hidung, hidung kamu ke jari kamu yang rasa best?
jayman: tapi kenapa org pompuan tak suka diperkosa?
bapak: kalo kamu jalan2, tetiba ada org nak korek hidung kamu...
kamu suka tak?!
jayman: betul ke tak boleh buat tu masa datang bulan?
bapak: kalo hidung kamu berdarah, kamu nak korek jugak ke?!
jayman: kenapa org lelaki tak suka buat tu pakai kondom?
bapak: kamu suka tak korek hidung masa pakai sarung tangan?!
jayman: waaahhh... bapak ni pandailah!
bapak : :)

lawak3~

Masa Perlawanan Bola Sepak

Kenapa masa perlawanan bolasepak adalah 45 minit, dan bukannya 30minit ataupun 1 jam (utk separuh masa)?

Saintis sukan dan pemain-pemain veteran juga tidak dapat memberikan jawapan yang tepat. Di dalam kemusykilan tersebut, ada seseorang yang memberikan jawapan yang boleh diterima.

Dia menjawab….”Sebab mengapa bolasepak dimainkan dalam 45 minit ialah…

Terdapat 2 pasukan didalam setiap perlawanan dan ada 11 orang pemain disetiap pasukan. Setiap pemain mempunyai “2 biji bola” dan membawanya setiap masa semasa bermain didalam padang.

Jadi, jumlah kesemua bola untuk kedua-dua pasukan ialah 44 biji bola. Terdapat sebiji bolasepak yang digunakan didalam perlawanan. Oleh itu, jumlah keseluruhan ialah 45 minit.

Persoalan terjawab !!!

Tetapi, kadang-kadang ada masa tambahan selama 2 minit…itu adalah “bola referee”!

p/s: hahahhaahha..kesimpulannye pandai t0wl org kite ni..kretif! jangan tak bertempat suda..

Woman as explained by Engineer

LOL.. aku tertArik t0wl ngan pandangan sorang engineer yg bertauliah ni? anti-women ke beb?? tatawlah..huhu..bag0s lak paleh0tak die nih

hahaha..pape0n lelaki tetap memerlukan p0mpuan dalam id0pnyer kan? s0, gud luck t0 0l guyz out there.. :)

Welc0me to OSCE...againnn?!?! hmmm..

haloo...i'm back;) diz time I would like to make a confession. I H.A.T.E OSCE!!!I really h-8 dat thing wit a passion!for those who doesn't know what an OSCE is, it is a practical exam YOU HAVE TO ACT OUT AND EXPLAIN WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WHY? tHEY ARE hORRIBLE THING AND I HAD TO SUFFER 4 IN A FEW minutes. The 1 and only OSCE's benefit that I know is it act as a form of performance-based testing used to measure a student's clinical competence.That means there is no way that I could get out of it and it just make me hate it even more.( 2 thumbs up!)

can u just imagine, there is no teaching about what OSCE is, how to tackle OSCE, how to act in 5 mins and how not to make a fool of yourself during OSCE. this is truly ridiculous..urghh.. Personally,I do not think it really reflects students' clinical reasoning and clinical skills B'COZ OSCEs are not real clinical situations. Think about this, when would you have only 5 minutes to see a patient? OSCEs are artifical environments aiming at assessing large number of students effectively. If you try to approach OSCE stations as they are real clinical situations, you are making a big mistake and probably gaining a Z_E_R_0 4 ol the stations tested.For those who not experience the OSCE yet, try to not get involve in it b'coz it just make your brain functioning at a level

equivalent to a cerebrally compromised shrimp, the only answers you can think of are to the questions you got wrong three stations back, and your hands are shaking so much that if you're asked to demonstrate venepuncture, the examiner may lose an eye. Faced with an unconscious plastic patient with a ryles tube stucked in one of its artificial nose and you need to pretend being a angle-like nurse in the stations with the examiners which look at you with a frowning weird face. The worst part of the OSCEin my college is where the super juniors were asked to be the OSCE's models for the super seniors station..and believe this, they saw ol of our stuopid-ness during this rushing,unrealistic exam. dat was very embarrassing! I think dat I agreed for the new abbreviations of OSCE given by a medical student which suggest OSCE is an "obligatory sweepingly crushing experience," a collection of "overwhelmingly significant clinical errors" or an "obnoxiously stupefying celebration of evil." hahhahahah..I'm sure some of you out there can do better, and I would welcome any suggestions you have.

Girls are like m&m's

Hey, hey, hey..I'm here again.. I just to share about a video which I found interesting:) Have u ol heard about KEVjumba? This video was posted since last 2 years n sumbody may think dat i was really an out-dated person. so what,who cares?..haha(: I luv 2watch his funny videos and one of it is about comparing gurlz to M&M's..haha.. Yeah, u r right man..four thumbs up!! (y 4? including my best friend's thumbs) Girls are really like M&M's or NIPs or SMARTIESor..anything else dat looks different from outside but taste the same... Besides girls, he did mentioned 'bout

interracial babies, and shocking his dad with a fake cell phone.

The best part though comes at the 1:40 point when this u tube celebrity wakes his his father up and tells him he got a black girl pregnant. The dad’s reaction is hilarious. Ohoww guyzz.. u better check out this video it’s awesome!

The most annoying friend dat i have..

Hi, Well, things have been all ’up-in-the-air’ for me at the moment, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Lets update you with my new story..

first of ol, let me dedic-8 diz special poem to the most annoying fren dat I ever had...B@#*A...

The bell rings and I run at the speed of lighttrying to avoid her.She yells, calling my nameand I pretend not to hear her. My friends look at me with sympathyTrying to break free but she grabs my wrist and slaps my arm she holds onto me like a python She'll squeeze the life out of me, until all life is lost, then moves to her next victim. huh, ok guyz.. back to my root of story.. i have a friend who irritates me the most..I cant even stand with her annoying attitude dat finally creates a huge gap between me & my closed friend.. can u just imagine wat she did to me:1st she make fun 'bout my boobs loudly in front of others ( cam siall..puiihh!) then she makes irritable voices wit stupid questions during EXAM or pop quiz.. then she keep on trying again& again & again to dig up other people personal stories (especially mine!) or a hot new gossip, rumours wherever & whenever she go. diz is wat we call a super-duper busy body.. She olweyz think dat she is that most perfect creature with perfect curves. yucks! honestly, i dont think so..she is much more like a freak of nature.huh, i think its goin 2 be a very long post to tell about her annoying attitudes here..well guyz, have you seen bongsai tree? the purpose i mentioned 'bout diz tree is juz dat I try 2 relate it wit this annoying girl dat looks juz like a bongsai tree...u know...D.W.A.R.F...haha, hopefully she may see herself gaining some centimeters in her dream.. -Bye:p

The sh0rt st0ry of Miss President..

rasenyer dalame aku x share st0ry nagn bl0g nih... t0 my bel0ved bl0g, arini aku mempunyai feeling yang becamp0-baur.. again, again, again, again and again principle tlah p0n menghabiskan B.L.A.M.M.I.N.G sessionnyer ke atas aku tadi. padanyer aku n assisstant aku mmg xb0le handle Group 1. aku still lagi teringat kate2 pedas yang terhemb0s tepat kat batang idong aku ari tu...

"the more u talk, the more u r wrong... may b U r g00d in your theory but your management is Z-E-R-O!!!!" apelah maksud die time tu.. die benci kat aku ke? ter0k sangat ke salah aku? aku teng0k president sebelum ni wat bende yg same gak, xkene camni pon:( sedehn

yer aku pd waktu tu bukan kepalang..tanpa aku sedar air mate CenGeng aku aritu jat0w gak kat depan klass aritu. mane x nyer,aku dah p0n cube menggalas resp0nsibility ni setakat mane yg aku mampu ik0t kehendak die, tapi ape aku wat sumenyer x kene.. ala, kire kes aku ni samela cam cite kassim selamat bezenyer aku xla pegi memb0d0kan diri pegi mencuc0k

mate aku ngan garpu bile frustrated. principle aku ni represent mak mertue c kassim selamat yg maner terpakse time anak menantu yg bukan pilihan atinyer.. cakap pasal pilihan ati ni, aku rase aku tau sape pilihan ati principle aku unt0k jawatan president ni, orangnyer ada

lah @#$%^&*()!!! hehe..syhhhh, xleh bitau kat cni..

pada aku, Group 1 xla ter0k sangat, cume ape yg aku sedar setiap kesalahan kecik aku dalam managing diz group teros diadukan ke principle tanpa belengah walau sehari p0n. as the result,aku akan dipanggil untok disajikan dgn bebelan yang aku consider bole menyebabkan ati aku bagai dihenyak2 ngan bulld0zer (camne tu ek??).. anyway, the most interestin

g part is aku dapat merasekan yg Gr0up 1 meny0k0ng aku dari blakang each time aku kene bla

me (tanx al0t guyz.). ni la kehidupan aku seharian aku sebagai mizz president a.k.a Poor Miz president
.

A new c0mer of blogger has born! heee...

hmm.... actually today plan nak research 'bout steven johnson syndr0me tapi... tangan ni tetibe rase gatal plak nak cube2 wat bl0g..huhuh, hopefully it will be fun;)

lets get started with my basic life st0ry.... aku rase idop aku ni simple je, l0w profile..(low ker?) em, xde pe sangat yang menarik except aku punyer family yg sgt caring and Mr F yg saangattt penyayang;)

To My bel0ved Mr F;

"Mereka hairan kenapa kita masih bersama. Dey'all kate sy layak untuk dapat jauh lebih baik dari awk, dan tiapkali tu juga sy hanya tersenyum=)Mungkin awak tak sehensem lelaki len..kadang2 awk kasar..Kadang2 angin baran awak datang tak kire masa,Adakalanya, pening melayan perangai awk yg keras kepala,Tp apa pon,Biar awk tak sehensem mana, awk tak pernah pertikaikan rupa sy.. Kata awk, sylah pompuan plg cantik dalam dunia..sekasar mane pon awk,bile tensen psl kerja nanges jugak.Biarpon adakala awk degil tak dengar kata,tapi sygnya awk pd sy, sy sorng boleh rasa...Buat ape dicerita bahgia yg kite rasa? Biar apa kata mereka peduli org kata.. saya lg kenal syg sy.."

back to my story...well, im only 20/johorean n im still studying in 3rd year as a student nurse.. insyaallah, taun depan aku grad lar.. pasal favourite things aku, aku p0n x bape pasti..pada aku bende ni brubah as the time moving n orang yg close ngan aku je yg

arif tentang ni..

Stori pasal family, aku cume de 3 orang adek-beradek je.. wat mase ni family aku tgh diberi ujian yg besar; at0k aku tetibe jatow saket..skang ni terlantar kat ICU..sedeyh diwatnyer lagi2 bile dapat berite mengejut camni..mase kat spital tadi, doktor cakap mungkin esok t0k ayah kene wat tracheostomy. harap2 t0k ayah selamatla hendaknye..